Do you really, really hate gays enough?

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Questions

1. Will you oppose any of your elected representatives hiring the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy crew for pre-election makeovers?
   Yes
   No
   

2. Do you support necessary actions to stop Ellen Degeneres from gaining illegitimate tax benefits by fraudulently filling under any married status on their federal taxes, and make sure that the IRS takes action against any that do? Because, you know, she totally munches carpet.
   Yes
   No
   

3. Do you wish homosexuals were easier to spot, so you wouldn't have to feel nervous all the time?
   Yes
   No
   

4. Will you oppose any of your elected representatives accepting any financial or political support from Barbra Streisand?
   Yes
   No
   

5. Do you think Will and Grace is funny? Seriously, with all that mincing around, do you think they "do" each other between takes?
   Yes
   No
   

6. Do you ever feel like screaming, and never stopping?
   Yes
   No
   

7. Would you oppose legislation adding "fudge-packer" to the list of special protections for hiring in the private sector?
   Yes
   No
   

8. Do you oppose legal minority status for David Geffen?
   Yes
   No
   

9. Do you like gladiator movies?
   Yes
   No
   

10. Is the way Rosie O'Donnell just won't go away an immoral lifestyle choice?
    Yes
    No
    

11. Have you heard about the gay guys who stick their hands up each other's butts? No joke, like all the way up to the elbow. Isn't that gross?
    Yes
    No
    

12. Seriously, can't we make them wear a warning label or something?
    Yes
    No
    

13. Do you think a man has a constitutional right to totter around on high heel shoes, lip-syching show tunes and sodomizing boy scouts?
    Yes
    No